I’m trying to be a DOER…

Well, It has been a MINUTE. Let me start out by saying, I clearly, need to do a better job at being consistent in writing.  That’s something I’m learning. Being successful isn’t just about passion and inspiration. It’s about dedication and consistency. I can’t believe it took me 23 years to finally figure that one out.

Oh yeah! I’m 23. Happy Birthday to me.

Every Birthday sends me into this really weird reflective state. I spend way too much time contemplating my life choices.

This time, I’ve been thinking about temptation. Last year I tackled forgiving myself and God for my experience with some trauma. It’s still a work in progress. I learned confidence and to stand up for myself. This year I’m learning self-control and how to be a “doer”, not just a “hearer”.

The first is self control. Resisting temptation doesn’t just have to be sexually oriented. It could be verbal too! I’ve had a problem keeping my mouth shut ever since I was a small child. Then, as a small adult I struggled with ever opening my mouth. Until, God started to heal me and grind some of the dirt off. And just when I think I’m ok, he revels somehow else I can grow. In this case, it’s with the way I use my words.  Recently, I’ve made my work environment toxic because of my words. God has revealed an anger I have been harboring in my heart. I’ve fought to hide it instead of giving it to God! It’s been a losing battle. The stupid little angry monster inside just wants to get out. Oh boy- would it feel nice to unleash it every once in a while…. But then…… that’s lack of self control… and giving into temptation… see what I did there? It’s been a constant battle not only in my work life but in my social life as well. Flipping open my bible I ran into James and these verses stuck out.

James 1:19-20

So then my beloved brethren, let everyman be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God

I am doing absolutely none of those things. Instead, I’m disregarding what I know is the right thing and causing chaos in my own life. Which leads me to believe: The wrath of man not only does not produce the righteousness of God but disrupts the peace that comes as a bonus with the riotousness of God. Therefore, acting like a psycho maniac and going off on people isn’t a relief because it’s causing your bonus peace to go BYE-BYE BUTTERCUP. You’re the one to blame, not God.

Now see, I’ve become aware of this. I have, in fact, been very aware that I am the one who is not producing the righteousness of God and yet I do ABOSLOLUTELY nothing about it. I just sit there and go, “Yeah, yeah. Uh huh. Okay.” Nodding my head like an idiot and then going right back around, going off on the creepy pervert guy at work when he tries to shove his extra paperwork on me. (Something, that does need to be addressed…just not with shouting.) That’s where the next verses really hit home.

James 1:21-22

Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

We could go SO in-depth on these two verses. I’m going to keep it simple. First, he tells you to lay aside the overflow of wickedness. For me, that wickedness is being too quick to wrath. Then it says humble yourself and listen to wisdom with the phrase “receive with meekness the implanted word”. It finishes with the big punch: be doers not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. How powerful is that? “Not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” Get that? You are LYING to yourself when you nod your head listening and then turn around and disregard. I am deceiving myself by knowing the right thing to do and not being a DOER. I’ve been a Hearer only. It’s late. I’m tired. I don’t know if any of this makes any sense. What I’m saying is that it’s time for me to be a doer of what is right. Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. That way, I can produce some of that Godly righteousness and get that peace restored in my life. That’s only possible if I deny Iszie (me) and allow God to do what the heavenly father has to do to accomplish this in me and around me and utilizing me for his glory!!

Hallelujah

Testify

I’m exhausted

God Bless

Good night. I will edit this tomorrow.

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