I recently went on my first date in a very long time. I don’t even know how to prefess this so… let’s just dive in…
He seemed really nice. His Name was Brad and he was a successful 28 year old Christian man. I thought I had struck a gold mine. We video chatted a few times and texted a bit before meeting in person.
THE MORNING OF THE DATE
I started my period. It wasn’t an easy period either. NAY NAY- it was a biggie. CRAMPS, diarrhea swelling. This was the monster period. I almost canceled.
ONE HOUR BEFORE I freaked out… Got ready early and watched some YouTube while I waited for him to arrive (He was picking me up) I get a text… “Hey I’m running a bit late.. I’ll be there are 1:15.”
No big deal. 1:10 rolls around I walk out from my building and wait… I get another text…. “Hey, traffic was worse than I thought… I’m going to be late.” I ended up waiting outside for another couple of minutes in the ridiculous humidty. I could FEEEL FFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL my hair frizzing. Now would be a good time to mention I had also taken time to do my makeup. He finally shows up and doesn’t open the door for me. I shrugged this off thinking, “He’s late, he is probably in a rush to get to our date.” When I hop in, this man manages to look directly at my chest. He didn’t look up for a good 30 seconds. I should’ve just jumped out immediately but NO because I’m a ding dong.
So many things happened… I’m Just going to list them.
1. I stepped on his shoes trying to go through one of those weird spiny doors. You know which ones I’m talking about?? They give me anxiety. (revolving door)
2. Remember that make up I did? Well When we got to the restaurant I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I actually scared myself when I looked in the mirror. My hair had frizzed out so bad I looked like I had been electrocuted. And my eyeliner… it had smeared down my face only to pool on my mask… which was white. And now had some FANTASTIC dark brown splotches on it.
3. During our date he looked at me and said. “You were not what I expected.”
“What do you mean?” I asked
“You’re just… You know bigger than I expected.” He paused.. I was stunned.. “And your face.. You’re just not usually what I go for.” MMMMMMMMKKKKAAAAYYYY It should be noted I am a shorty who is built like a gymnast and a fair 125 pounds…. Who was he expecting?!?
4. He bought me ice cream… Which was pretty cool! (It was also dairy free so- yay!) Excpet he wore all black and a flannel… in 83 degree weather. We were walking side by side as the date had started to end and he was sweating profusely. He swiped the sweat off of his forehead and into MY ICE CREAM. EW.
5. At the end of the date when he dropped me off he didn’t even get out of the car. OH NO. THIS GUY reached across from me and pushed open the door. As I got out I was saying thank you for the date when he interrupted me and said, “What? Don’t I get a hug or a kiss?” I almost gagged.
So far… NOT a great start. Ladies… We’re doomed.
A few days after the date he asked me to go out again. After I told him there wasn’t a chance he responded with, “Well, there wasn’t a chance that Lazarus would raise up from the dead too until Jesus came! So don’t count it out.”
I have no words…
See below for a poll!! I’m curious!!
Christian Dating Disasters: Brad