Warning: This actually happened before Covid-19 ever became a reality.
Remember how I told you about the cute little church where I threw my shoe and disrupted an entire service? Well… I went back. Blue eyes and I were still dating at the time (we broke up… don’t worry! we are still friends) This time I wore a long dress in hopes to just blend in after what had happened a few weeks before. (See blog post: Operation be social: Church edition and operation be social: church horror story) Blue eyes and I looked good. He had stepped it up with a flannel button down and I had my favorite green dress and jean jacket. We were STYLIN’. The best part about my green dress is that I don’t have to wear a bra. Which is a blessing especially when I start my period and anything constricting on my body makes me want to barf.
We walked confidently into the church. I nodded and smiled at people as they passed by. I was determined that this time I would make a better impression. Blue-eyes lead me towards his friends and we made small talk until the service started. I really do like the pastor. His sermon was encouraging as well as informative. That’s always been my favorite kind of sermon! One that is honest but also leaves me with more knowledge. Blue eyes reached over and grabbed my hand while we listened. (I felt very scandalous. Pre-marital hand holding!? Who did I think I was?) At the same moment Blue eyes grabbed my hand the pastor and I made eye contact. He chocked, grabbed some water and continued on with the sermon but kept making sideway glances at me. I let go of blue eye’s hand thinking maybe I had offended him with my premarital hand holding. People had started to notice how uncomfortable the pastor was on stage. A few looked behind in my direction trying to see what he was staring at. Blue eyes, also picking up on the pastors strange reaction glanced at me and I swear his eyes bugged out of his head.
“What?” I whispered.
“Babe… your… uhm.. your having a dress malfunction…” Blue eyes responded. He averted his eyes like it was painful for him to look away. I looked down. The left strap on my favorite green dress had snapped and I hadn’t even noticed!!!! As a girl who is committed to waiting for her wedding day I was MORTIFIED. I buttoned my jean jacket as fast as I could. My face was as red as the pastors and good old Blue eyes was as calm and collected as could be. Nothing ever seems to phase him. As soon as church was over I ran to Blue eyes’ truck. We tied the broken strap and I tried really hard not to cry….
I can’t believe I flashed the pastor… We need a new church.